Running From You Is One of My Best Defenses
by comicsans-spideydehaanfan
Summary: What if it had been Steve that had fallen off the bridge? What if the roles were reversed and Bucky was Captain America? When the Winter Soldier appears, how will they cope? Does Steve remember? Can Bucky keep himself together and help Cap-Steve remember? Whatever happens, Bucky will stay with him until the end of the line. Rated T for violence. Possible pairings but no slash.
1. Chapter 1: Good to Go

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Captain America or any of the characters... I just own this story._**  
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**_Note: _**This is my very first CA fanfic so please go easy on me. As indicated in the summary, this story is based off the idea of what would happen if Steve had fallen off the bridge instead of Bucky and the two roles were reversed. I'm not sure if anyone else has had this same idea, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Oh, the title of this story was inspired by Relient K's "I So Hate Consequences." I hope you guys enjoy it!

(PS. Not sure if any of you guys can tell, but I split the faces in my story cover. The one on the left is Buck and the right is Steve. Was a bit of a pain to photoshop but I think I did a decent job and hope you guys think the same.)

* * *

_Run._

Running. It was something he had found he was very good at lately. In fact… it was one of his best defenses.

_Just run._

He was ashamed of it. This wasn't something he would have done in the past.

_Run, run, run!_

But what choice did he have now?

_RUN!_

He never really had much of a choice…

_Keep running!_

Running. This was the only choice he could make willfully… Even _they_ couldn't stop him when he started.

_Don't stop running!_

It wasn't just running though. It was always running away.

_Never stop running._

He was a coward… and he would eventually be caught by _them _anyways. But for a few moments, he could run. He could have that glimpse of freedom. He could think what he wanted to think. He could… remember, regret. He wouldn't be their puppet for a few fleeting moments.

_Run, just run!_

His breaths were quickening from their sudden overuse, but he didn't stop. He needed to keep going. He needed to get as far as possible.

_Keep running! Don't stop!_

He forced himself to run faster despite the pain starting to shoot up his muscles from his overexertion. He couldn't afford to slow down. The further he ran, the further away _they_ would be… and the further away _he_ would be. Such a coward… and to think that _he_, _HE_ never considered him to be a coward. But that was back then. Back when he didn't realize that yes, running was cowardly… but then it was a better defense for him than taking the blows in this case. It was his escape, to hide from his regrets and, and the regrets he didn't want _him_ to have. No, _he_ didn't deserve that at all. This was for _his _safety.

_RUN!_

He glanced over his shoulder, regretting it as his tired limbs decided to crash right there. He stared up at the sky as he panted heavily. It reminded him of his younger days… when he could barely run for a minute due to his asthma.

My, had things changed.

Regret was building up inside him again.

_Get up! Run!_

He forced himself up, arms shaking. His lungs were screaming for air, reminding him again of his younger days. But he couldn't stop to think about those days or even stop running. He had to keep on going. He had to keep _him_ safe and _them_ away.

_You must run!_

He wasn't always like this, he thought sadly. He had never been such of a coward. Running away like this… No, back then he had been able to face things. But in these circumstances, he couldn't face things head on. He had to run.

_Run, run, run!_

He was finally on his feet again, stumbling along again.

It was too late to face things anyways. If he had planned to face things, he should have done it the very first day. But that hadn't been a possibility. _They_ knew that now. He had to run from _them_. But most of all, he had to run from _him_.

_RUN! RUN! RUN!_

He could never ever let _him_ find him, see him again. There would be too much pain, too much regret. _He _didn't deserve all that pain and regret. None of this was _his_ fault… so _he _shouldn't have to deal with his problems or anything else for that matter. _He_ just needed to stay safe.

_So, run._

What other choice did he have? He couldn't let _them_ find him again. Now that _they_ knew… who knows what would happen? He wasn't about to relive hell again.

_Just keep running… don't stop._

He had to run. It was against his usual standards... but now only one thing mattered.

No matter what, he couldn't hurt _him_ again. He had to keep on _running_.

_Just… run…_

The world was spinning as he kept stumbling along trying to keep running, but his body couldn't handle the strain anymore. He needed rest even if he was convinced he didn't.

Even super-humans need rest.

* * *

**Chapter One-Good to Go**

_ Pow, pow, pow!_

The punching bag was receiving no mercy as it was being constantly pummeled by a pair of strong fists. Punch after punch assaulted the bag. If it had been a person, well, there wouldn't be much life left for the poor soul…

"You shouldn't be here," a female commented, watching the man resuming his punching.

The lone chain holding the punching bag creaked as the bag began to slow. The man had barely sensed her presence when she had entered only a few minutes ago. He was just surprised she hadn't spoken until now.

"I know."

The female crossed her arms as she leaned against the gym's doorway. "Yet you are still here."

"Yeah…" the man mumbled, staring at the now still punching bag.

"Why?"

"Do you even care, Natasha?" the man asked irritably. "They just sent you in because you can 'talk' to me." He emphasized _talk_ with finger quotes.

Natasha gave a slight roll of her eyes. "We all care for you, Cap."

"Do you?" he growled more than questioned as he attacked the bag once again. "You all say that. But do you really care? I've seen your faces… You guys pity me. Probably thinking stuff like 'poor guy must be rough adjusting to all this' or 'must be tough for him knowing all this now.' I'm not blind. I can see it." He gave the bag a hard punch, causing the chain to break and the bag to fall to the ground with a loud _thud!_ "I've had enough of it… that and being called 'Cap.' I never was Cap," he muttered under-breath.

Natasha ignored his little rant. "You shouldn't be here."

"So?" he turned his back towards her, assuming the conversation was coming to a close. She hadn't even responded to his explosion.

"You're not fully healed."

"So?" he repeated and turned back to face the red-head. "I needed to let off some steam…"

"There are better ways."

"Sure," he scoffed. "And you know plenty of ways, I'm sure."

A small smile tugged at her lips. "But of course."

"But I don't need 'em… this is the best way." He gave the bag a kick before wincing.

Okay, so maybe he had overdone it… just a little. Only a little, mind you! He was fine. He was super-human for crying out loud! Just a little sore…

She, on the other hand, did not look convinced.

"We're worried about you," she announced bluntly and straight to the point.

He snorted. "Sure… worried that things aren't quite all right up here, huh?" He tapped his head lightly with his pointer finger. His expression was stony. "It's perfectly all right. I know it was him… He knew exactly who he was! I'm all the way here and so is he! I wish you all would stop it! He is _not _the Winter Soldier! He's a _person_! Not a weapon! He's a living, _breathing_ human being! He's my _friend_! You guys have no idea what we went through! You just pity us and don't even see the _real_ him!"

The red-head sighed softly. "Buck, we're just trying to be realistic. Even if he has-supposedly-remembered, that does not explain things."

"It explains everything!" the brunette exploded. "He _remembers_. He _knows_ who he is. He _saved_ me! Why can't you guys understand it?!"

"Buck," Natasha said sternly. "He's not the man _you_ remember anymore. Perhaps he does remember who he once was, but that does not change who he is now. He is the Winter Soldier, Buck. You have to let him go."

Bucky glared at her. "I refuse."

"It's for the best."

"The best for him?" He narrowed his eyes. "Or best for you guys? You don't think I can handle it? Then fine." He straightened and strode past the red-head to grab his shield sitting beside the doors of the gym. "I… I q-quit."

He coughed hard and leaned against the doorway. His body was feeling it… Those stitches weren't going to hold, super-human or not.

Natasha was by his side in an instant, ready to support him despite his reluctance.

"Seriously… so stubborn."

"Nat," he growled softly, not wanting her help at all.

"No, Buck. I'm not going to stop until you get yourself straightened out!"

He let out a hiss of frustration as he hugged his ribs. "Natasha. I'm fine. Just needed to let off some steam… I'm sorry.

"You've only encouraged your steam." She gestured to the broken punching bag. "That was Thor's favorite you know."

Bucky smirked slightly before becoming serious again. "Nat, I'll be fine."

She sat down on the bag and faced him, obviously not convinced with his answer. "Talk."

"There's no need for an interrogation!"

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "If this was an interrogation, things would be a lot different, Cap."

He made a slight face as he rested against the wall in defeat. "Got me there…"

She nodded with satisfaction. "So then, why are you here?"

He found himself sighing. "I don't know… just didn't want to be around the others or stay in my room I guess."

"You're still not fully recovered," Natasha reminded him again as she scolded lightly.

Bucky shrugged. "I just couldn't stop thinking about him."

It was now Natasha's turn to sigh. "Cap-"

"Don't… just don't. I don't like you calling me that, and I know what you're going to say." He ran a hand through his hair shakily. "I know… I know. But, I can't just help hoping I'll find him."

Natasha sighed again but more softly. "Bucky… I know it hurts, but you just got to let go."

"You know, I'm serious about what I said earlier about quitting," he mumbled, changing the subject again.

"I know you were, but I'm sure you know that I won't let you off so easily and neither will the rest of us."

A small smirk tugged at his lips. "Yeah… I know you guys won't."

"So don't be stupid, Buck. Just leave things be and heal."

"If only it was that easy," he muttered bitterly. "I'll never be good to go again until I find him again."

Natasha let out another sigh. She had known things would probably end up like this… Trying to convince Bucky to give up was futile. Well, she could tell Tony that she had tried not like she really cared about reporting to the billionaire. She had done this more out of her care for the soldier she had grown to respect and love like a brother. She hadn't known him for that long… but she felt she knew him well enough to keep him from hurting himself. She couldn't let that happen. She loved him too much. She didn't want to lose another loved one.

And so…

"Hey, Bucky," she said softly.

"What?" he asked irritably. He was not happy to be back to being restricted to his room and bed. He had been hoping that since he had been able to convince that hospital to let him leave that he'd have some leeway about the tower… but noooo everyone was making sure he stayed to the doctor's orders. It had been a lucky moment for him to get into the gym. Though of course, his luck never lasted.

"Bucky?"

"I'm listenin'…"

Natasha gave a slight roll of her eyes. "Bucky..." She knew she was going to regret this decision later, but it was better than letting Bucky be reckless. "I'm going to help you."

Bucky raised an eyebrow ever so slightly. "Help me what?"

"Find Steve."


	2. Chapter 2: Breaking Down

**Chapter Two-Breaking Down**

(_Flashback_)

"Steve… you've known me your whole life."

A pair of blue eyes were gazing fiercely back into his eyes. This man was determined to convince him that he was this 'Steve' he had once known.

"Your name is Steven Grant Rogers."

_ Your name is Steven Grant Rogers_… _Steve._

The words rung in his head. But he had to push them back! He had a mission to accomplish.

"Shut up! I'm not him!" he growled, throwing a hard punch at the brunette.

"We grew up together in Brooklyn."

"Just shut up!" he yelled, attacking his target again.

But his target didn't block any of his blows this time. After all… he had already accomplished his mission. He instead, dropped his shield and looked straight into the blonde's eyes once more. His eyes still held their determination but there was a sadness behind them.

"I'm not going to fight you. You're not my enemy. You're Steve, my best friend… and I'm with you, until the end of the line."

"ARGGGGH!" the Winter Soldier yelled attacking the man one last time and shoving him off the edge.

Why? _WHY, WHY, WHY?!_

Why was he doing this to him?!

The Winter Soldier couldn't keep his eyes off the falling, unconscious figure.

Why?

Why didn't he just fight back? Why did keep yelling that name?

_Steve._

He tugged at his bangs angrily.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be… This wasn't how his mission was supposed to end!

Yet here he was… diving after the man he had been assigned to kill.

_Why?!_

And the only answer that came to him… was _Steve_.

_(End Flashback_)

* * *

The sound of soft footsteps brought him out of his unconscious state.

Footsteps?

His brow furrowed ever so slightly. How could he be hearing footsteps? The wood he had fled into should be empty … right? Then how was he hearing _human _footsteps?!

His eyes popped open. He tried to move, defend himself just in case, but he found it hard to do so. His body ached… Probably due to the fact that he hadn't been taking very good care of himself lately and not to mention he hadn't been back to the Hyrda in months…

But he couldn't let that keep him back. He needed to get up, keep moving. He couldn't risk being found by anyone. He propped himself up on his metal arm, expecting to hear the crunch of leaves he had fallen onto earlier. But no… there was no crunch. Just the soft swishing of, of a blanket? The feeling of the blanket against his normal arm snapped him back to full alertness. He really was no longer in the woods…

He managed to sit up and took a quick overlook of his surroundings. A small living room from the looks of it. He was on the couch facing a television and beside him was another couch but slightly smaller than his. There was a slight indention in the seat of the couch and a blanket thrown carelessly to the side. He wasn't alone, but the footsteps he heard a few moments before had already alerted him of that. He glanced around the room again. The other person was nowhere in sight. Maybe he could sneak out before-

"Ah, you're up."

Steve stiffened as he looked up to face the man. He was slightly surprised to find an African-American man around his age (well the age he appeared to be) standing at the edge of the couch he was still lying on. This was unexpected and not good… especially if this man wasn't Hydra. Although, things would probably be just as bad if this man was with Hydra.

"How are you feeling?"

Steve blinked in surprised. Not exactly a question he had been expecting…

"Mmphfine," he mumbled, lowering his eyes.

The man cocked his head. "Well… do you remember what happened?"

Steve immediately stiffened and watched the man warily. Was this Hydra testing him?

The man noticed Steve's uneasiness. "Ah right. I'm Sam, Sam Wilson," he said introducing himself with an outstretched hand.

Steve hesitated. Sam Wilson… That wasn't a name of anyone he knew in Hydra. Perhaps this was a somewhat safe situation. He gave the man a slight nod. He was a bit wary of allowing himself to return a handshake. To his relief, the man did not seem offended that he hadn't returned his handshake. He just pulled his hand back to his side and gave Steve a small understanding smile.

"Would you like some breakfast?"

Steve blinked in surprise and subconsciously tightened his grip around his blanket. This stranger… was offering him food? He was deeply touched… yet concerned. Did this man not watch-what did they call it again?-tv? Surely this man would have recognized him as the Winter Soldier who had caused so much trouble in the city barely two or three days ago?

_Gurgle, gurgle._

Despite all his training, Steve was unable to hide his embarrassment. Stupid stomach!

Sam chuckled softly. "I'll bring some to you."

Steve gave him a slight nod and watched as Sam headed towards the kitchen. Perhaps he should try escaping while that man… Sam was working on breakfast? But even the slightest shift of movement was enough to make him want to crawl back under his blanket. He was the Winter Soldier for goodness's sake! This shouldn't hurt as bad as it did. He grit his teeth as he tried to stand. But it was no good. His legs were not about to support him in this state. He needed food… and rest. Lots of rest. And well, this was a God-send if he thought about it honestly. He had a shelter from Hydra and, and Bucky for the time being.

* * *

_Plop!_

Bucky raised an eyebrow at Natasha. "What's this?" he asked, motioning with eyes to the stack of paper work she had just placed on his nightstand.

"Research. Thought I'd give you something to do so you don't go wandering off on us again."

Bucky snorted and picked up a file. "And you think this will help?"

"Planning is necessary for success."

"I see your point…" he grumbled. "Are all these on Steve?"

Natasha gave him a slight nod. "These were all the files we've collected on him as well as on Hydra."

Bucky frowned deeply as he flipped through the files. Some of the pages had pictures pasted on or paper-clipped to them. He managed to peel his eyes away from the pictures and focus on the more important _written_ sections. The parts that would tell him more about Steve.

"Oh, one more thing."

Bucky glanced up from his files, eyebrow once again raised. "Yes?"

"You should see about shaving," she said with a slight smirk. "You're looking like a bum."

Bucky rolled his eyes and felt his chin. He could feel a little bit of stubble forming, but that didn't really bother him. "So? I don't think it's that bad…"

"Compared to the Winter Soldier?" Now Natasha had her eyebrow raised.

Bucky scrunched up his nose and gave her no reply. But, come to think of it… Steve did seem rather well-groomed. His hair was not in the crew-cut Bucky was familiar with but it was longer than Steve normally-used to-style it. And yes, he was rather clean-shaven. He wondered if Hydra actually _cared_ about Steve? It was a weird notion after meeting some of the crazed Hydra agents. Then there his own harrowing experience with Hydra... it didn't quite make sense why Steve seemed fine. His brow furrowed as he frowned deeply. What on earth had they done to Steve?

* * *

_**Note: **_Hey guys and gals sorry it took so long to update. I was busy with college and well this chapter was giving me some difficulty. I was struggling with not getting ahead of myself. XD Well I hope you guys will enjoy this little update. Sam came in a little sooner than I thought but I think he fit in well. Hopefully I'll get more action in the next few chapters. :)

And thank you so much for the favorites and follows! I'm so flattered... so maybe could you drop a review too? ;)


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